There’s a pattern to each of this month’s jokes. All involve animals in one way or another. Enjoy these smiles across the miles of “cyber land” as you serve the Lord with gladness! Look for ways to share some Savior-created smiles with those around you today—and don’t forget to thank God for the animals that bring you joy and companionship.
Protected from Fleas, Ticks, and the Deacon Board
A boy who visited the pet store more often than he attended church found himself fascinated by the vestments worn by the pastor in his liturgical church. After the service, the lad asked the pastor about them.
The pastor explained his alb and stole. Then he asked the boy, “Why do you think I wear this collar?”
After a frown and a moment of deep thought, the boy replied, “Because it kills fleas and ticks for up to 5 months?”
While mending fences on the range, a devout cowboy lost his Bible.
Weeks later, a steer walked over, carrying the cowboy’s Bible in his mouth. Amazed, the cowboy retrieved the Bible from the steer’s mouth, exclaiming, “A miracle!!”
“No,” the steer replied. “You had your name written on the inside cover.”
A dad brought a new puppy home for his daughter. One Sunday afternoon she decided to teach it some tricks.
Pointing a finger at the dog, she shouted, “Amen! Amen! Amen!” The dog blinked and looked at her.
She tried again. “Amen! Amen! Amen!” she bellowed at the top of her lungs, but the dog simply wagged his tail.
Dad came in to investigate. “What are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m teaching Spot a trick,” she responded.
“What trick?” Dad asked.
“I’m teaching him to sit. It always works for Pastor. He says, “Amen!” and every time everyone sits down!”
The Purr-fect Time for a Miracle
The pastor’s kitten climbed a tree in his backyard and refused to come down. He coaxed, set out bowls of warm milk, called and called it, but still, no results.
The tree was young, not nearly sturdy enough to climb. As he surveyed the situation, the pastor decided that if he would tie a rope to his car and drive away, the tree would bend down far enough so he could grab the kitten.
Starting the engine, the pastor inched the car forward ever so slowly, checking progress in his rearview mirror. Finally, it seemed that just another inch or two would do the trick. Just then, the rope broke, the tree went BOING, and the kitten sailed through the air and out of sight.
The pastor felt terrible. He canvassed the neighborhood, asking if anyone had seen his kitten. No one had. So, shrugging, he prayed, “Lord, I commit this kitten to your keeping.” Then he went to his study to start working on his sermon.
A few days later, he met one of his flock at the grocery story. She had a bag of cat food in her cart, along with a few cat toys. The woman hated cats and everybody knew it. So the pastor asked, “May I ask why you’re buying cat food?”
“You won’t believe this,” she replied. “My son has always wanted a cat. He’s begged and begged, but I always said no. Finally, a few days ago I promised, ‘If God gives you a cat, I’ll let you keep it.’
“I watched my son go out into the yard, kneel down, and pray for God to give him a cat. Really, Pastor, I didn’t believe my eyes, but a kitten came sailing out of the sky, its legs spread out in all four directions. It landed right in front of my son! What could I say? We’re keeping the cat!”