Mother’s Day Smiles
The hand that rocks the cradle usually is attached to someone who isn’t getting enough sleep.
A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.
A little boy forgot his lines in a Sunday school presentation. His mother was in the front row to prompt him. She gestured and formed the words silently with her lips, but it did not help. Her son’s memory was blank. Finally, she leaned forward and whispered the cue, “I am the light of the world.” The child beamed and with great feeling and a loud clear voice said, “My mother is the light of the world.”
Bits and Pieces, 1989
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
I’d like to be the ideal mother, but I’m too busy raising my kids.
I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she’d have children if she had it to do over again. “Yes,” she replied, “but not the same ones.”
The story of a mother’s life: Trapped between a scream and a hug.
If it was going to be easy to raise children, it wouldn’t have started with something called “labor”!
A sweater is a garment worn by a child when his mother feels chilly.
A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.
Peter De Vries
Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories.
Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease.