by Jane L. Fryar
It’s October. You’ve filled all those open positions in your church from the children’s midweek club to the board of deacons. Things are working well—with one major exception. John Doe is obviously NOT a trustee! He breaks three light bulbs for every one he successfully installs. Now what?!
Volunteers do sometimes wind up serving in the wrong spot. It’s tempting to ignore it and hope for the best. We don’t want to cause hurt feelings. We do want to keep the misplaced volunteer as a church member and, ideally, as a volunteer, too.
By ignoring problems, though, we won’t make them evaporate. In fact, they will usually grow! Attendance drops off. Other volunteers suddenly remember previous commitments. The “misfit” becomes more uncomfortable, and perhaps irritable. Important work goes undone and goals go unmet.
Here are eight ways to face the issue head-on, with kindness and compassion. Use some or all of them to create a plan. Then act. You’ll be glad you did!
Make sure each volunteer knows how to define success. Give each volunteer a position description. Rather than listing specific duties or tasks, this document should describe “key results.” What outcomes does the organization expect? Position descriptions need not be long. If you need more than one page, you may have a job for two or more volunteers!
Address issues the first time you see them. Suppose you see me doing or saying something objectionable. If I know you observed it and you say nothing, I will assume my behavior was acceptable. If it happens twice and you say nothing, I will assume you endorse my actions.
Focus on behavior. Don’t pretend you can read minds and hearts. Don’t guess at attitudes, either. Rather, describe the specific behavior you saw and the behavior you want to see instead.
Admit “bad fits” to yourself sooner rather than later. “Houston, we’ve got a problem!” With those now-famous words, Apollo 13 astronauts alerted engineers back on Earth to the threat they faced. Without that admission, disaster would have claimed several lives. Suppose you’ve applied the three approaches above, and have done so in a kind, encouraging way for a month. If you still think you may have placed someone in the wrong slot, you probably have. And no amount of “hoping to goodness” is likely to fix it.
Take a day or two to think and pray. Ask yourself questions: Is the job too big for one person? Would more training help? (Honestly, now, would it?) Are you able to provide the resources the person needs to do the task well? Or are you expecting to hold things together with string and chewing gum? Think things through from the volunteer’s perspective.
Brainstorm options. Consider involving someone you trust at this stage. (Perhaps this is your pastor or another person on the paid church staff. Choose someone who can keep a confidence and who would be able to serve as a mediator later on if that becomes necessary.) Check your perceptions with this person. Then, together, come up with several options to share with the volunteer. Role-play the conversation outlined below.
Confer with the volunteer. Always do this face-to-face! Yes, e-mail seems easier and a phone call, less threatening. But neither of these will let you communicate the kind of care and respect you want to communicate. Resolve ahead of time to speak both honestly and with kindness. Then follow these steps:
- Before you introduce the problem, express your appreciation for the time and effort the person has already contributed.
- Then explore what the volunteer is thinking. Ask how things are going and listen carefully to the answer. It may be that the person will bring up the issue for you. This will make discussing it much easier.
- If not, follow up with a short sentence that begins, “I’ve noticed that . . . ,” followed by a statement of the problem—in behavioral, factual terms. For example, “I’ve noticed that two people have resigned from your committee in the past week.” Or, “I’ve noticed that the children were alone in their classroom for 15 minutes last Sunday.” Or, “I’ve noticed that the newsletters went out on Thursday instead of Tuesday this month.” Then say simply—and in a nonaccusatory tone, “Tell me about that.”
- Listen again! Follow up on anything that hints at a solution. Is there a need for further training, for more supplies? Is the task list too long for one person?
- Brainstorm solutions with the volunteer. One or two at a time, share the ideas you developed beforehand, but let the volunteer make suggestions, too. If you sense the volunteer would like to be relieved of duty, ask if that’s the case. If you believe the volunteer should be given a different job or relieved completely, say that as kindly as possible and explain why you think so. Clarify what you don’t mean as well as what you do mean. (E.g., “I know you love Jesus with all your heart, and I know you want to serve his people. I don’t doubt that for one minute! It seems, though, based on what I’ve seen and on what you’ve said, that teaching 3-year-olds may not be the most comfortable way for you to do that.”)
- If the volunteer seems upset, offer to invite a third person in to mediate. All else being equal, this should be the person who helped you brainstorm options.
- Pray together before you leave. Notice that I didn’t suggest praying together to begin the conversation. In many settings, doing so may unnecessarily set off alarms in the volunteer’s mind. (For example, “Wow! I must be in big trouble if we have to pray about it!”) To keep the conversation low-key and collaborative, postpone prayer until the end. Then include in your prayers the solution you’ve decided—together—to adopt.
Follow through with the plans you’ve made. Enlist the mentor you promised. Approach the treasurer for permission to buy the needed supplies. Get the “job swappers” together to plan a smooth transition. Schedule another meeting to talk about alternative options for volunteer service.
In sum, if you think you have a problem, you probably do. Don’t dawdle! Address it! Volunteers are an irreplaceable resource in almost every church and Christian school. You want all your volunteers to feel fully engaged, important, and appreciated.
