I once read the following joke:

Mother’s Day: A time to honor and cherish women for being wonderful moms.

Father’s Day: A time to beat up men for being lousy dads.

Funny? Sure. True in most churches? Unfortunately. Ouch!

Men – dads, in particular – have become popular punching bags in this post-Father Knows Best culture of such pitiful patriarchal role models as Victor Newman, Homer Simpson and K-Fed. Am I the only one who occasionally wonders, “Where did Heathcliff Huxtable go?” 

Sadly, as in other ways, the church has been influenced by the culture instead of the other way around. When is the last time – outside a testosterone-packed Promise Keepers or Iron Sharpens Iron conference – that you heard a good sermon extolling the virtues of fatherhood or just plain manhood? It’s probably been a while.

To make matters worse, fathers are often made to feel like second-class citizens around this time every year. Moms are hailed as virtuous on their special day in May, while a month later, dads are often portrayed as villains. Does a double standard exist even in the church? You tell me. I recently read that one pastor requires husbands on Mother’s Day to beg their wives’ forgiveness and pledge to stop making foolish mistakes. Of course, no such turnabout comes when it’s time to “celebrate” fathers in June.

Now I’m not here to vilify women. They deserve praise, honor and encouragement – especially on Mother’s Day. But don’t dads deserve the same treatment?

Countless books line Lifeway and Barnes & Noble shelves about the dire straits of fatherlessness in America. But there are rays of light breaking through the darkness. The Department of Health and Human Services reports that fathers are now spending more time raising their children and that they play a critical role in helping their sons and daughters in the following areas:

·         Developing intellectually and achieving educational milestones;

·         Saying no to drugs and illegal activity;

·         Avoiding teen pregnancy;

·         Feeling more secure and confident emotionally;

·         Increasing their self-esteem.

In defense of pastors who are often hard-pressed to find new inspiration before every Father’s Day, the sacred Scriptures are not exactly stacked with success stories of heroic dads. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David and on down the line – great leaders in many ways, but often not the best models of fatherhood.

My recommendation: go to Luke 15 and inspire men with the Parable of the Prodigal (Extravagant) Son. If you read it with fresh eyes, you might find that it’s really about the Extravagant Father—our heavenly Father—who loves and forgives unconditionally.

Now there’s strength all of us dads can rely on as we model God’s love for our kids.

I’d love to hear how your church has honored – or dishonored – dads in the past and what it plans to do this year. Maybe we just need to share some positive ideas!  

For great resources and ideas on how to truly honor your men this Father’s Day, check out CTA’s options.