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It seemed almost pointless to play the 1978 Orange Bowl. The Oklahoma Sooners, all but unbeatable that year, were a 21-point favorite. Then Arkansas lost four key players the week before the game. One had been injured, and Arkansas’s coach had benched three others for breaking team rules. That coach was Lou Holtz, who later went on to fame at Notre Dame.

As Holtz’s players entered the locker room after their last practice, they expected a tongue-lashing. Practices had been a disaster the entire week. Inattention. Fumbled plays. Missed cues. Every player felt the failure that filled the room.

But instead of scolding, Holtz explained that in his family, whenever someone experienced a personal best, the family would sit down with that person and, one by one, share a word of genuine praise. Holtz paused, and then told the team they were going to take the time, right then and there, to do that for one another.

In the moments that followed, each member of the team shared stories of appreciation. They talked about their friendships with each other and about the honor of playing for Arkansas that year. Someone mentioned the privilege of having Steve Little, the nation’s best field goal kicker, on the team. Soon, even big, strong linemen were choking back tears. That locker room conversation became the highlight of the season.

Though the Oklahoma couldn’t have known it, they lost the Orange Bowl that evening. Forty-eight hours later, Arkansas’ 31 to 6 victory glowed on the scoreboard.

The Power of Appreciation

Coach Holtz knew the power of appreciation, of mutual encouragement. Do you?

While your staff and volunteers no doubt derive many blessings from working at your church, they likely treasure nothing as much as knowing that their efforts matter, that what they do makes a true difference.

Feeling that we matter, that others appreciate and love us is like oxygen. Remove it from the room, and people can think of little else. Study after study has shown that one thing drives worker engagement on the job: the feeling that leaders genuinely care about our wellbeing. Study after study also shows that only about 40% of workers actually believe their leaders care.

When we feel appreciated, we can do our best work. We’re more willing to throw our best efforts into the task at hand. We have the energy we need to keep at a task until we succeed. Conversely, when we feel unwanted, unnecessary, it can create fear almost as powerful as threats to our physical survival!

If all this is true—and it is—then why do 60% of leaders fail to communicate caring and appreciation? Why are we so much better at criticizing than at affirming others?

For one thing, we may not recognize the importance of expressing appreciation. We may assume those who work with us “just know” how thankful we are for their efforts. Or we may let the busy-ness of our days and weeks lull us into forgetting to say thanks. Then, too, we may not know what to say; we may feel awkward as we try to find just the right words.

How might church leaders use appreciation to help create more engaged, effective teams? Here are three ideas:

1. Don’t devalue people! Someone has said it takes ten positive statements to undo the harm of one negative statement in the human heart. This doesn’t mean you don’t take corrective action when someone falls short. It does mean that you help the person retain dignity no matter how far short the individual has fallen.

2. Catch people being good and affirm them. All around us every day our followers are doing things both small and large that enhance the ministry God has given us in our community. Ask God to open your eyes to see your co-workers as he sees them. Then look—every day—for actions and attitudes you are currently taking for granted. Find ways to say thanks.

3. Cultivate an attitude of appreciation. Those with whom you work are gifts from God to you! Often when bosses are looking to fire someone, they document all the mistakes that person makes and the problems he or she causes. Why not document the positives about your staff and volunteers, noting the ways they go the extra mile day by day? Write them a note. Bring in a cup of their favorite morning coffee. Put a single flower on their desk. Brag about them to others—and let them overhear it.

The research is clear. So is our everyday, human experience. We all need to be appreciated, respected, loved. (And when we show these things to others, they will grow in their willingness and the ability to show them to us!) Most of all, our team will work together with more skill and in more harmony to accomplish the mission and ministry our Lord Jesus has given us.

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